Fearful Love Isn’t Love At All

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I’ve been chewing on a thought that is hitting me deep: “I don’t want to LOVE people out of FEAR anymore.”

Love is patient. Love is kind….etc, (You know the verse!)

Well I’m tired of showing patience on the outside while deep inside, being actually driven by fear. 

Im tired of feigning kindness while in my core, I’m totally throwing shade–keeping up my charade because I’m afraid–if you find out what I really think about you, you’d dislike me. 

Self-preservation. 

Love is not self-seeking. It is utterly otherly-minded. Wanting to give of one’s self for the benefit of the other. 

When did reputation-building, rejection-mitigating, and approval-needing seep into my love dispenser? Not that there’s no real love in me. There is. But come on! 

What’s that thing that comes up in yours and my heart when we’re helping someone–for what we believe we can GET?

Tainted. 

I could give all that I own to the poor and volunteer my time everyday for the rest of my life, but if I don’t have ‘oozing-from-the-inside’ you-focused love, I AM NOTHING. 

I’ve never felt more awake and never felt more sober about learning to love well and forsaking man-pleasing. 

Thank you Jesus for tough-to-swallow situations that cause sh*% to hit the fan & subsequently, pulls the gold out in me!

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PHOTO CREDIT: Timed Beauty by Sally Beautanowitz (www.timedbeautybySally.com)
 
 
–Naida Lynn

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By Naida Lynn

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